Coffee shop ethos

I'm sitting at my favorite coffee shop in the world, Cafe Delirium in downtown Gresham, gearing up to start whittling away at the big redwood that is the mount of work that's ahead of me. As I put on my headphones and started listening to the All-Michael Jackson online radio channel (call me nostalgic), it finally occurred to me why coffee shops are such popular places for people to read, have serious talks with people, or — as in my case — work.

I look around me... In front of me is a man tinkering with something that's either a calculator or one of those newfangled cell phones with a mini keyboard. He's jotting down numbers — doing his own thing. Just beyond him at another table are two girls who look like they're supposed to be studying, but instead they're just chatting it up. One the other side of me, two lads are having a Bible study. Across the room, a guy and a girl jokes and teases one another -- if they're not dating now, they probably will be soon.

And then there's me — typing this blog, sort of procrastinating, but sort of prioritizing my need to have The Real Matrix as a more regular part of my life.

OK - OK! Get to the point! The common thread between all of us is that we have our own agendas, our own tasks, if you will, that we must do — and the coffee shop provides a place where, socially, we get our cake and can eat it, too. I don't know anybody in this cafe, and chances are, I'm probably not going to go up to any of these people and begin a conversation with them to change that. The culture of the coffee shop is such that everyone here has something to do. You are AMONG the people, but in the end it's just a farce because you're not really experiencing true community — you're just in proximity to community while still in isolation.

That's probably why a lot of lonely people hang out at coffee shops. I've seen them. There's one particular guy at the Gresham Station Starbucks who sits by himself, sipping on his one latte alone, people watching for hours on end. The man, who may have some mental disabilities, may not have much exposure to the world and to people if not for that venue. I guess the next obvious question is whether or not one should engage that person. I think so... if the Holy Spirit leads you to.

But the overall safety of coffee shops is that you sit down, do your own thing in a place where you're probably not going to get interrupted (that's why it's crucial to pick a cafe that's not in a neighborhood near your old high school) while not feeling like you're lonely in some staid white office where the only sound you hear is the typing of the keyboard or your heartbeat. We're so afraid of silence sometimes.

I'm not sure it's a bad thing all the time. God designed us to be this way. He made us want to be around each other. But I guess the problem is that we're so busy these days that we make "being in community" (or the appearance of it) FIT IN to our schedule... we multi-task.

Perhaps we just need to make more time for people who will listen to us, who love us. Or maybe we just need to get back to work...